Expression, Reinvention, and Transparency (or, A Rant for Being Honest)

Published May 23rd, 2008 by Adam Kayce | 10 Comments

let it shine

sleepysparrow

If you want to make an impact in the world, you have to express yourself. And the way you’ve expressed yourself so far has been good, in that it has gotten you to where you are now. But if you want to go beyond where you’ve come, you need to make a shift. And making a shift in how you express yourself is one of the toughest things to do. (Spinning plates, juggling knives, doing a back handspring? Child’s play.)

Expression isn’t about words, and it isn’t about style… even though these factor into it heavily. It’s easy to get into ruts with your language, your catch-phrases, your metaphors. Expression is about viewpoints. It’s about perspective. It’s tied fundamentally to the eyes through which you see the world around you, and all the filters between your brain and the world it’s trying to make sense of.

Try this: think about your business. Think about who you serve, and what you do for them. Write it down. Keep it simple. Got it?

Now, come at it from a completely different angle, and do it again. Try seeing it as you’ve never seen it before. (Go ahead, take a minute and do it. I’ll wait.)

See how frickin’ hard that is?

You might have come up with some different phrases, or maybe a different way of languaging your process. Good for you. But did you notice how easy it was to slip back into your old way of seeing things? Did you feel how hard it was not to trudge down the same road as usual?

What does any of this matter?

It matters because it’s necessary. It matters because, in order to stay on top of the wave of a world that’s in constant flux, you have to constantly be reinventing your view on yourself. Why? Because people are constantly re-evaluating you each and every time they come in contact with you, and if you keep on spouting the same old tired platitudes, you’ll slip gently into the good night of obsoleteness.

As Hugh McLeod (of gapingvoid.com) wrote in his HughTrain Manifesto,

It’s no longer just enough for people to believe that your product does what it says on the label. They want to believe in you and what you do. And they’ll go elsewhere if they don’t.

It’s not enough for the customer to love your product. They have to love your process as well.

Now this isn’t some isolated business-speak, devoid of deeper implications or the need for actual human intimacy, here. Hugh goes on to say, “It’s not about merit. It’s about faith. Belief. Conviction. Courage. It?s about why you?re on this planet. To make a dent in the universe.” In other words, if you want to reach people, you have to dig deep. You have to extract the essence of what you’re about, and offer it up on a platter to anyone and everyone who reads you, gets in contact with you, or even remotely thinks about hiring you. And if you hope for being referred to others, be prepared to share your soul.

And, my friends, none of this can be done without some open-hearted introspection, dogged determination to strike to the core of who you are and what you do, and the genuine desire to connect with your fellow (wo)man. If you insist on mamby-pamby’ing around with superficialities, you’ll marginalize yourself. There’s too much ambient noise these days to just whimper, and expect to be heard. If you want to be heard, you’ve gotta yawp.

I know, I know…

This is tough stuff. This is bare-naked, raw-to-the-bone stuff. But it doesn’t have to be ugly. It can be a glorious sharing of your innermost desires, an arms-wide-open invitation to the world to glimpse the essence of who you are. And sharing of that magnitude rarely goes unrewarded.

Some may not like what they see. Some may object, driven by their own fears and doubts, and blame you for their pain. Others may counsel you to take a safer road, or keep hidden, or “appear professional (i.e. do ‘the ostrich routine’).” I say, let them have their way. You forge yours. Let them leave. You stay. And shine.

Some people—the right people, the people who matter—will love you for it. Why? Because you’ve given them something to love, something to wrap their hands around and hug. Those who stay hidden can’t touch, or be touched, like this.

It takes courage to step outside of your comfort zone. But that’s okay. I know you can do it. I believe in you.

10 Comments... Want To Jump In?

  • Hayden Tompkins
    May 23, 2008, 4:38 pm

    “if you want to reach people, you have to dig deep. You have to extract the essence of what you’re about, and offer it up on a platter to anyone and everyone who reads you”

    That’s one of the best descriptions I have seen for living authentically.

    • Adam Kayce
      May 23, 2008, 5:38 pm

      Thanks, Hayden.

      • Gina Rafkind
        May 25, 2008, 10:57 pm

        I have to say ‘ditto’ to what Hayden said. Those 2 sentences really hit me when I read your post.
        Thanks for your continuing inspiration. Gina

        • Adam Kayce
          May 26, 2008, 11:47 am

          Thanks, and you’re welcome, Gina.

          It’s always interesting when I write a post like this. Equal parts venting, revelation, and forehead slap… I always wonder how people are going to take it.

          It seems as people love to read and comment on the honest, love to read (but not necessarily comment) on the inspirational, and (maybe) read or stay away from the controversial/stirring. Either that, or I’m obtuse.

          • Gina Rafkind
            May 26, 2008, 9:22 pm

            Adam,
            I think it’s hard for a lot of people to expose their true self-always wondering what others will think and the whole ‘will they still like me’ attitude. I just reread your post and like it even more-I’m into shifting!

            by the way, how do I get a picture on my posts-I really don’t look like a ghost-and I’m much tanner than the image of me that’s there now :) Thanks, Gina

            • Tom Volkar / Delightful Work
              May 27, 2008, 3:21 pm

              Adam this is my favorite post since you retired the Monk. I don’t think this is controversial at all. It ought to be part of our primary education. I just wrote a post on, What makes you exceptional? From that post …The market is way too crowded to hold back and expect success. We’ve got to let our exceptionality rip so that our unique voice can be heard.

              It was interesting to see the comments from other bloggers who were inspired to cease their self-censorship.

              We’re probably singing the same tune but I don’t really think it’s a re-inventing of ourselves that’s needed, but rather a frequent excavation and re-expressing of our core.

              Thanks tons Adam you’ve inspired me to dig deeper still so that my ideal clients will be able to recognize me as the coach who fits them well.

              • Michelle Vandepas
                May 27, 2008, 7:37 pm

                Adam,

                On a post a week or two ago, I wrote that I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. It was sort of a hands up, ‘now what’ post, but also a reflection, because I think it is precisely the self-reflection that gives opportunity to find new ways to appear to ourselves and the world. The openness to be in the world in a new way then bleeds out into my work. Funny that post got a ton of comments…

                • Michelle Vandepas
                  May 27, 2008, 7:40 pm

                  P.S. Gina, I think the photo comes from MyBlogLog and is the default one there, but I have someone on my website who’s photo never comes up and we can’t figure out why! If you find out post an answer here!

                  • Adam Kayce
                    May 27, 2008, 8:58 pm

                    Thanks, Gina; glad to hear it’s resonating with you (and getting better with time!).

                    The pictures on the posts are gravatars; if you sign up for an account with them (it’s free), your picture will start showing up all over the place. Gravatars are now built-in to Wordpress 2.5, and will be even more in 2.6.

                    (oh, a little tip: it works via email addresses, so if you post comments using more than one email addy, make sure you add them all to your gravatar account. that way, you’ll be you everywhere you go…)

                    Tom, wow, the favorite, eh? Glad we hit the sweet spot with this one.

                    I say “reinvention”, you say, “frequent excavation and re-expressing”… tomato, tomahto… ;-)
                    Michelle, isn’t it funny that way? How we can barf out a post sometimes, and have it resonate with so many people? (sorry if my word choices grosses anyone out there… it seemed apropos.)

                    I know for me it’s easy to get stuck in a mindset of ‘every post has to be perfect’, because there’s so much great content out there. And, at the same time, blogging started as a personal-publishing platform… a way for people to express themselves however, whenever, for no one in particular. It’s a wide-open media, and can be used however we want to use it… so why not lay it bare when we need to?

                    Thanks, everyone, for commenting. Keep going!

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