When your optimism clouds your ability to clearly see what’s happening, that’s called “wearing rose-colored glasses.” You know what wearing those glasses is going to do to you… the beliefs you bring to any situation are going to affect the way you show up, and cause you to see things differently from how they really are.
Rose-colored glasses are one thing. But what about when your glasses are a different color? Say, “sludge brown”, or “rotten-egg yellow”, or “toxic-waste green”?
Is that going to mess with your clarity? You betcha.
So there you are, hard at work, minding your own business, and frustration/procrastination/lack of motivation comes along. And once you realize that this feeling isn’t just going to blow over, you do your best to deal with it, whether you take a break, repeat affirmations, or do something to shift your state of being away from the negative and back towards the positive.
Self-healing techniques (for lack of a better term) are great for dealing with the immediate moment. And over time, they can change the way you live and work tremendously.
But this just wipes away a proverbial speck on your glasses, by handling the acute scenario. Important, yes, but different from addressing the chronic situation.
Cleaning the specks off of your glasses isn’t the same thing as taking the glasses off.
In order to do that, you have to have some way of changing your fundamental outlook on life, not just altering the relationship you have to events as they happen.
For example, I used to be hyper-sensitive to the ways people would look at me, the words they’d say, or the smallest of gestures. If any of my alarms got triggered, I’d go immediately into self-doubt, assuming something was dreadfully wrong with a) me, or b) something I did.
I did a lot of personal healing work on that, stopping the reactions before they got going too strong, or learning how to modulate my reactions so I wouldn’t sink into the pits of despair. I got pretty good at it, too.
But the baseline never changed. I got better at getting out of the pit, but I was still stepping in it.
It wasn’t until I added a “spiritual” paradigm to my “healing” paradigm — not just working on myself, but getting to know The Oneness better — that the glasses I was wearing started to change.
- Instead of seeing the world as a scary place, it became benevolent.
- Instead of relating to others as scary people, they became friends.
- Instead of seeing myself as alone, everything became connected in a whole new way.
The putrid ochre of my life-glasses began to be removed, and from that, countless beliefs broke loose, changing emotions, perceptions, attitudes, and actions.
My invitation to you:
- What’s the area of your work/life where you get triggered, reactive, frustrated, or otherwise thrown off the most?
- What are the common denominators of your experience? Is it impending deadlines? Exasperating clients? Financial upsets? Ennui?
- Spend some time in connection with the Divine around your issue, not with the intent of “getting rid of the problem”, but of “understanding the landscape.”
Because when you’ve had those old glasses on for so long, you think the world just is the way you’re seeing it. But it isn’t. No matter who you are or how long you’ve been working on yourself, there’s always more truth to be had.
Shameless Plug: If this sounds like something you could benefit from, I’m offering a free teleclass on Tuesday, July 24 as a warm-up for the Business is Personal course, which begins on August 7. If you can’t make the teleclass, sign up anyway, and you’ll get access to the recording of it.
Image by ko_an at Flickr, via Creative Commons license.
And thanks to all those who commented on the previous two posts (I missed tagging people on Friday) so far: Communicatrix, Dawud Miracle, Edward Mills, Siona, Dailytri, Jean Browman, Tshombe
Monk at Work is Adam Kayce's website about personal webdesign, inner peace and outer effectiveness, and helping you bringing your best work out to the world.
Adam,
Thanks for highlighting the question about the fine line between Optimism and Delusion.
I’m encountering a lot of little epiphanies on the web today, concerning matters of perspective.
Blogger K-L Masina asks the question about “clouded, compulsive thoughts”:
Your observations combine nicely to reinforce the contemplation of Clarity. Slade
Adam, this is one chock-full post. Much wisdom, lots of tip-of-the-iceberg. And your shameless plug is just fine. Got me to sign up for the pre-class and probably the rest of the course.
God bless.
Stuart Baker http://www.consciouscooperation.com
Thanks, guys — and Stuart, let me know what you think of the teleclass…
Adam,
In a reply to a comment on “Are you Sacrificing Your Freedom” you wrote, “…but I don’t think taking a break is always an option for people. They’d never get any work done if they stepped away from the desk whenever they felt a glitch come along.” You don’t have to step away from the desk to take a break. With practice you can connect to the Divine in less than a minute. It’s mainly a matter of commitment and practice. If their lives are continually having glitches that throw them off their path, maybe they’re not clear about what their lives are about.
That seems to be what you’re saying here, especially in step 3 above. I would go a step further — instead of connecting with the Divine about the issue, I would welcome the upsetting feelings and be grateful for the reminder that I’ve gotten off-track and somehow started to believe that productivity was the goal, not the outcome. I suppose the real issue is “Is connecting with the Divine just a tool for being more productive? Or is it what your life is all about?”
Great topic! Thanks.
Adam,
Yet another inspiring post. Thank you. I am still letting this percolate, as I arrange my thoughts in some sort of coherent whole around this dense (though on the surface seemingly-simple) article.
I am impressed by Jean’s assessment, and her ability to offer a clear alternative perspective. She offers a wake-up call, really (even as you do), so that we are never complacent but always questioning whether we are in integrity.
I also love how Jean asks us to look within us to see whether we are using ‘connection with the Divine’ as a sort of crutch, or, as a vehicle to remove us from pain or indecision or “upsetting feelings.”
When we change our glasses, or take them off altogether, we see that we can perhaps actually enjoy and be grateful for the less-than-ideal feelings and their attendant the lessons, insights, and reminders.
To Jean and Tshombe,
Both deeply thought-out replies.
I agree that there is a difference between using connection with the Divine as a great Source of tune-up in a sense or as the One we want to bow to and hear, with no motives other than being the best listener and devotee we can be.
Thank you for your contributions.
Stuart Baker
Jean, thanks for your comment. I agree, connection doesn’t have to take long at all; I can get there within a breath, usually. And, “Is connecting with the Divine just a tool for being more productive? Or is it what your life is all about?” It’s both. And more.
If you need it to be, it can be a tool that serves.
If you want it to be a way of life, it can be that, too.
Tshombe, I’m glad to see you’re getting so much from the conversation. That’s what it’s here for…
Stuart, I’d only add that yes, there is a difference, but only in the degree to which we take it. As I see it, it’s a matter of intent. Why not use our ability to connect in every circumstance we can?
For me, it goes back to the monism/dualism conversation. If I’m seeing the Divine as outside of me, then I’m living as if sometimes, I’m on my own. Connection, then, becomes a “yes in these times, and no in these times” phenomenon.
But if I’m seeing the Divine as more intrinsic than that, then it becomes a matter of how much of me I’m tapping into.
Awesome post Adam! I love that you’ve snuck a bit of the Law of Attraction into this.
Over the last six- seven months, I’ve had the opportunity to approach painful feelings in a very different way - in the past I did want to get out of them as quickly as possible, but during a very difficult period last December, I read something attributed to the Sufi saint, Rab’iah. In the passage she wrote about a very painful experience and hearing God say to her, “show me where it hurts” and opening up her experience of the pain to Divine healing. Probably because I was in such desperate need, this writing shifted something and although I’m still not quite welcoming painful circumstances, I feel much more capable of riding through them, being more attuned to (as Stuart wrote) the One we want to bow to and hear, with no motives other than being the best listener and devotee we can be.
I always mean to take these classes off, but I unintentionally find myself putting them back on. They are very comforatable you know.
Very inspiring post.